Footies and Santa

Both JK and I had to work together on Christmas Eve so we thought we would liven the party up a bit.  A week before Christmas, we bought ourselves footie pajamas to wear to work. Turns out it made quite a few people happy!  ...And we managed to find the creepy Santa...

-ES

...what did she just say?

Here are the top 5 phrases I miss hearing from 108 (former resident):

1) Who the hell are you? And why did you not bring any beer?
2) Before anyone sees, grab my cigarette stash from under the mattress.
3) My goodness, it's you. I didn't recognize you with clothes on.
4) I don't want water, I asked for vodka.
5) Nurse, the dead cat has crawled into my bed again. Please kill it and take it out.

-ES

Baby you're a firework.

A couple months ago I was in the laundry room finishing some laundry when I could hear the song Firework by Katy Perry being played really loudly. I followed the sound to 101's room and peeked inside. She was standing in the middle of her room, dancing with her walker to that song. The best part was when the chorus came on, because 101 knew every word and belted it out.  Gotta love it! (:

-ES

What the?!

One day the call light for 113 was going off and we thought that was super strange considering he never really uses his call light.  So we went in his room and no one was in there, so we opened the bathroom door and 114 was sitting on 113's toilet.  113's toilet brush was on the ground and his showering chair was out in the open... that's when 114 was losing it and was stuffing forks, socks and bibs down his pants.
Some of our residents keep us on our feet!  We never know what to expect! :) 114 will be missed!

Food Fight!

One day as I was observing all of the residents during lunch time, when all of the sudden 113 got some potatoes on his spoon and tried to flip them at 103... of course the potatoes missed her but then 107 just freaked out laughing... but her laugh sounds like she is choking or crying or something so everyone was very alarmed at the whole situation.  I can't remember who was on shift with me... but I could not stop laughing!! It was hilarious.
The whole time I was taking 107 in her wheelchair down to her room we were both still cracking up.  113 is a funny guy :)

-CT

CNA Personalities...You know it's true

• AIDE RATCHET. Aide Ratchet thinks that she/he is the charge nurse, and will bark out orders to other staff, and yell at the residents. She/he is lazy and always in a foul mood. What makes them think they are in charge? Why are they always in such a bad mood? For some reason the facility will do nothing about Aide Ratchet, leaving the rest of the staff to wonder what she/he has on the boss.
• BABY TALKER: This aide will speak in condescending tones to the residents. "Did we eat ALL of our chopped-liver today" they will say. You half expect them to add "goochi goochi goo". Please! These people have lived long and fruitful (or maybe not so fruitful) lives. The last thing they need is some 18 year old with green hair and facial piercings talking to them as though they are babies. Ok, maybe not 18, maybe not green hair, but you get the point. Unfortunately, the family members are often guilty of this as well. Remember whom you are talking to. They are after all, old enough to be your grandparents.
  
• HIDERS: This is the aide prefers to work alone because they don't want you to see what they did, but more importantly, what they didn't do. After flying through their rounds, they often hide in a dark corner or a resident's room, which nobody wants to go into (especially those residents who can't talk). You can always tell when you follow a hider, since the residents are unkempt, and so is the room. Hiders are darned hard to find when you need help to Hoyer or pick up a resident, or other task. You sure see them at quitting time though, first ones out the door, they are!
• HOARDERS: These people seem to have the ability to know when the supply wagon comes in, and stashes away tons of supplies for her/his own use. This leaves the rest of the staff to "search for the Holy Grail" and tear the place apart looking for the basics.
• KNOW -IT-ALL: Know it all's name says it all. He/she is always telling you what you're doing wrong and why. Even when there is no possible way that what you're doing can be wrong, there they are, telling you the error of your ways. Even when you're informing them that the Earth is in fact NOT flat, they still KNOW that it is indeed, flat and refuse to back down. Know-it-alls are everywhere, and this profession is no exception.
• MUNCHERS: These are CNA's who will eat the resident's food, and drink their beverages. These contemptuous folk will wolf down the dessert from the resident's room trays, then tell the residents dessert wasn't being served that day. They may also nibble while passing the afternoon snack, depriving the residents of their grub.
• NURSE RATCHET: You know who you are! There is no reason for some of these nurses to be so evil, yet they persist. Why? Scientists have not yet located the "evil gene", but when they do, you can bet that Ratchet is full of them. Everyone knows who Nurse Ratchet is, there's no need to describe her/him further.
• PATSY: The hardest working CNA of all. He/She is the aide that everyone calls on for help, especially when it's time to use the "Hoyer". This CNA is also called on when someone else "Calls Off", because they can depend on him/her. They just give give give give give. One of these days old Patsy is going to snap, and then, watch out!
• SUCK-UP: The CNA that doesn't do any work, but is quick to rat out her/his coworkers when they take an extra 3 minutes on break. He/she can sure rack up the brownie points. The suck-up always has a kind word and a cheery smile for the charge nurse. Suck-up is often two-faced, and will try to get other aids to divulge info to pass on to the charge nurse....cnaworld

To the Residents

Live Life

Life is crazy, 
and totally unpredictable...
It's going to push you over,
kick you while you're down
and hit you when you try to get back up.
Not everything can beat you.
Things are going to change you.
Listen to your heart,
Follow your dreams,
Push the limits,
Bend the rules,
And enjoy every minute of it.
Laugh at everything,
Live for as long as you can.
Love all,
Believe in yourself,
And never lose faith in others
Settle for nothing but only the best,
Take risks,
Live on the edge,
Yet stay safe,
And cherish every moment of it.
Life is a gift,
Appreciate all the rewards,
And jump on every opportunity.
Challenge everything,
And fight for what you believe.
Back down to nothing,
But give in to the little things in life,
After all, that is what makes you.
Forget the unnecessary, 
But remember everything,
Learn something new,
We will try to  appreciate your criticism.
Hate nothing,
But dislike what you want.
Never forget where you came from,
And always remember where you are going.
Live Life to its fullest,
And have a reason for everything,
Even if it's totally insane.
Find Your purpose in life,
and Live it!

~CNA Work Poem~

Only A Cna?

Who are you to refer to us,
As "Only" a CNA?

We're the ones who wash and dress,
Our patients for the day.

We're the ones who take the time,
To listen to them speak.

We listen about their lifetime,
In a forty hour week.

We also give our hands to hold,
When someone's feeling scared.

It's not easy being a patient,
You're never quite prepared.

We take the time to listen,
By lending both our ears.

We listen to their worries,
Or how they've spent their years.

Our arms were made to reach,
And even wrap around.

To give our patients hugs,
When their feeling a little down.

We help our patients do the things,
They used to do on their own.

Everybody needs some help,
Even when we're grown.

So who are you to refer to us,
As "only" a CNA?

We do our best to meet their needs,
Within our working day.

We chose to do this job,
The job did not choose us.

We sympathize and empathize,
Compassion is a must.

We try to keep them comfortable,
And free of any fear.

We sit along beside them,
When that time is near.

We hold their hand, stroke their hair,
Just making sure they know.

Their not alone, an aide is there,
It's ok for them to go.

To all the CNA's keep your head held high,

We're not "only" CNA's.

WE'RE ANGEL'S IN DISGUISE!!

That's what she said...

It was time for dinner and JK and I were trying to get 110 in the exact spot that she wanted at the table. I got the table lined up so all 110 had to do was put one leg on each side of the table leg.  She kept trying to move it and couldn't figure it out, so I said, "110, all you have to do is spread your legs a little bit!"  I looked up at JK and said "That's what she said!"  110 grabbed my hand and said, "Just so you know, I'm not going to keep thinking about that in the way you meant it." 

I never thought one of my residents would ever pick up on a "that's what she said" joke. I was proven wrong. Haha!

-ES